Living the Dream

In a life with necessary losses, I have left
not once but twice, until I learned the lesson
that we live on borrowed time.

I have seen our elderly suddenly get religion
as if religion were enough to know the Plan,
the god, the man who knew some days do not last.

Fire engulfed the bed sheets, burned a hole in the mattress
like flames would scour my soul, more than once.
Each time I was yanked from that place, unscathed
but changed.  Not a hair on my head burned,
but naked before the Lord.

A bump on the head, a pill, a sudden popping
and a time of deep rest while the soul waited to be unborn.
Moments of awareness and trying to connect too no avail.
A gentle, slow, curling, into myself, and I swooped
and flew to a quiet place where there was no travail.

Having never believed in demons, there were none to frighten me.
Having never believed in wings and things, there was no flutter.
Believing in a new and better place, it was to that place that I came.

A meeting, a “Well done!”, and a choice.
I begged to raise my babies, knowing full well,
this was an ultimate sacrifice.   Such an unnecessary loss.

A sudden resounding insertion of soul and air and blood flow
where every pore wakened after this long sleep.  Pain
was now physical and spiritual.  Knowledge well planted
that time here is but another blink.

I have done all I can do today.  Tomorrow is but another gift.
I could stretch out my hand and reach yesterday,
my father’s hand again, and god’s voice
and know I have done well with all these losses.

Tags: Poems //