Living the Dream

A cloistered world of bland chicken and vegetable dinners, made healthy for the programmed children who are in God’s little business led by power-hungry, addicted men who follow one leader into their own kind of misconstrued glory.  This is the RLDS life:  A life of foraging livestock, rutting bulls, and motherless calves.

The children are removed from a world that is not as we know it by media, but by having something somewhere in our past that helps us know how insidious this cult is.  No woman dares to question the men because the women are nothing more than abused women who are in love with their abusers.  The spiritual abuse being a top favorite.    Men can beat them, rape them, intellectually neglect them, emotionally warp them, and then, at the very height of control is spiritual control.  The women are lead to believe they can not get into the highest kingdom of heaven and be with their family UNLESS they are called by the man who has been given their secret name to call them into that kingdom by.  Oh, and be it known that the women do not know the men’s secret names.  So, the women are hostages, not only by body, mind, heart…but by soul as well.

Did you notice the deep horrorstruck looks in the women’s faces.  Did you think they were all suffering the loss of the children to CPS?  On a good day, there has to be a haunting.  There are the first wives who, give me a break, they are human after all, hate that their men are choosing these younger women for bed partners.  The powerless, the women, have nothing to control but other women and the children.  The trickle down aggression from this type of close communal living and adding such desperate denial of self and need has to haunt them.  Where does the anger go?  Consider some options.

These people are breaking the law.  An 1878 U.S. Supreme Court ruling in a religious-freedom case more or less settled the matter, saying polygamy is “an offense against society . . . (that) shall not be allowed.”  The decision to remove these children should stem just from the fact that any common everyday mother in society or father, for that matter, if they are criminals, have their children removed.  The only reason that this is such newsworthy fodder is that the government has waited so long before they finally stepped up to their legal tables and are finally doing something to protect the children and the women.  (Yes, this will give a great deal of the women a chance to get away if they have been living in unbearable situations.  I am sure there will be some who will gratefully leave that hell, even at the chance of going to another hell.)

I know a little of what I speak in that I gave up the “highest kingdom” to save myself and my younger children from a completely holistically abusive  situation that did not involve polygamy, but a abusive nonetheless.  The environment represents a significant risk for abuse for all the women and children when such obsessive holistic control is the base of a religion.

The competition is stiff.  The women have their own insidious ways of snatching and gaining control.  The children are passively aggressively competing for attention.  The men barter like men standing on a fence looking at cattle on the sale block.  They watch and wait for their chance to ‘own’.  Their own sons are seen as competitors.  It turns sisters against sisters, brothers against brothers, sons against fathers, daughters again mothers.  It can not help but.  There is a pervasive pattern and practice of undermining each pother to get the ‘most’, the ‘best’ as if standing on the heads of wives and breeding more girls lifts them higher to holy.

I totally agree with Judge Barbara Walther’s response to attorney’s concerns about not keeping the adult mothers with their younger children, when she highlighted CPS’ position by saying that, “the mothers had placed their children at risk for abuse in the FLDS setting.” This is as true with these people as it is in mainstream society.  Very often a mother who was abused will not protect her own children, will not see it, will deny it is happening, will project totally illogical reasons for it happening.  Until these mothers get help and understand how abused they are, they should not be able to get their children back.  Bottom line, women in mainstream society are going through such counseling for such reason every day.

The birth of a daughter must be a true sick joy:  More girls added to the complaint herd.  This is a theocracy where women are nothing but property, pack mules, breed mares, and serve two roles and only two roles:  please the men sexually and have children (girls preferred).  The women , as was shown, have such stilted speech and such flat countenance.  They may have been born into this but it is now up to them to make the decision…the man or the children.  They should be charged if they take their children back into such abusive situations, just like the rest of us would be. Dr. Drew Pinksy, spoke of how the women were talking with “little girl voices” and it is a VERY real mental deficiency that often occurs with either abuse, sexually, emotionally, physically or all of the above.  Anyone who has worked with sexual abuse survivors recognizes this affect.  These women are taught to obey their husbands and have as many children as possible to build their kingdom. Those are their keys to heaven. That is how they are measured as worthy.  They are taught from as soon as they can be taught that women have no control over their own lives, their own body, or their own children. All the decisions are made by their husband and by the church leaders on behalf of their warped definition and connotation of their “God”.  The only power they can gain is to win their husband’s favor through sexuality and gain some minimal influence, which automatically seeps out into rivalry and backstabbing of his other wives.  They have nowhere to turn.  No one will help you, no one will listen.  You are isolated from those who can.  They are held prisoner and are trapped until they are willing to give up everything that is holy to them.  They are nothing but chattel/slaves.  They are told to leave would put them in the outside evil and escaping is an insult to their God.  To reject or question the practices is to defy the word of their God.  They are influenced to believe the outside hell is worse than the inside hell.  So many of these women are in denial.  They have to be.  Their self-esteem ahs to be some of the lowest recorded in order to stay … no wonder they are so numb.

I am hearing a great deal of the emotional trauma the children in their new foster care will be going through.  That concern is such pathetic pandering.  The emotional distress and abuse they have gone through in that commune is much more than having to deal with mainstream society.  The emotional trauma experienced prior to the taking is so deep and insidious that it will take years to unearth.  Those male potential pedophiles have had total control of their daily lives by themselves or through the women they yank along like lead cows.  I am sure one of the problems for these children, and the women who escape with them, will be to feel authentic emotional feelings and make decisions according to them.  All will need to be deprogrammed.

The public does not have all the facts.  We can not base our belief or disbelief that the children should have been or should not have been removed on what we are allowed to know through the media.  When all the facts come out, and I do not believe it will be for a long long time, even the hardest of hearts will be broken over what they have gone through.  These children were not casually removed.  I know a little more about such religious workings and I had a tough time because I was not an everyday bleating sheep.  I have been shunned for decades now for leaving.

A crime is a crime.  Religion’s guise is no right or reason for it.  No excuses.  No exceptions.  Do for those children what you would expect to be done for your own grandchildren, your nieces, your nephews.  Get them out and give truth a chance to be told.  If the parents want their children, they can leave what has been a crime and part of criminal actions and get help.  We ask no more of mothers in mainstream society, as I said.  (Make note that a professor took his seven year old son to a ballgame and bought him some lemonade, not knowing that Mike’s Hard Lemonade had liquor in it.  Yes, there are some of us who do not know such things.  And his child was removed for two days and put into care.)  No exceptions.  The law for one is the law for all.

This is not really just about religion or personal choices.  This is about freedom from physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual harm.  The thought processes of the adults may be clouded.  I can not believe that they would agree to such abuses if they were not clouded by brainwashed confusion.  They must now break the cycle the only way they can.

At some point we have to see polygamy as harmful to society in that it encourages gender inequality.  The men who think this is an easy way to live, and chuckle in their hands about how lucky, ha ha, snicker snicker, have no idea whatsoever about how it feels to be with someone who has lost their freewill.  Slaves do not make deep and emotional bed partners who share spiritual sexuality.  All you would get is dull duty.

Slavery was thought never going to be able to be extinguished.  But, look, it was.  But look , as well, how long it is taking to rid our society of the residuals.   We know well of those victims who fell in love with their abusers.  These women, many of them, would sooner cut their own tongues out that speak their truth.  There will be lifelong devastating ramifications for these children and women.  Those who were brave enough to leave prior to this are to be commended for speaking out now for the children and the women…their sisters.

Yes, these people can live how they like, they can believe in a religion of their choice, they can raise their children as they like, but they can not abuse each other and the children.  Those of us who know the will and willfulness of a group who wields such control, know that these children need to be taken out of that kind of environment.  It is not just the earth that needs saving, my god, the children.  The Children!  It is better to have the trauma of being removed than to be couched, trained, and controlled into being a sexual/breeding object.  Submissiveness of this type is not “normal”, it is well-ordered and rightly controlled.  The only way to freedom for these children is to get them out until they are old enough to make true self-evolved choices about that old world of controlling absolute patriarchy.

There are other residuals that are questionable in that society:  manipulation of the system, welfare abuse, incest, wife battering, tax frauds, limited educational opportunities, over-taxed public services, lack of medical attention, Medicaid abuses, poverty, genetic diseases, forced marriages;  but these are not as worrisome as the abuse of the young girls and women, and of course, the young boys who become seen as rivals to those old men.

The obvious lack of enforcement has lead to such large numbers of children being removed at one time.  The children, though, are the greatest victims of all this not happening sooner.  They had no choice.  They are being victimized in another way because of it all, yes, they are!  Basic civil rights have been taken away at the moment of birth.  Somehow all the abuse and the fraud must be stopped.  It is up to us to support the CPS as they do what HAD to be done.  To go against these CPS is to stand on the side of polygamy’s intolerable acts. I, for one, consider these children lucky…… I know what it was like to be an adult woman and try to find a way to remove myself from such insidious spiritual control.  I choose their definition of going to hell…and I have been in heaven since then.  Of course, there are residuals, and these I fight off every day of my life.  It has turned children against mother, mother against family, but I surrendered to the belief that it was between me and my God, not between me and the Patriarchs and then God.  I had to see Creator as a loving God who would understand, even if I was wrong.  Creator has since blessed me a thousand-fold in ways that I could never have known had I not freed myself from someone else’s prescription for spirituality.  I cannot go forward without turning back and seeing what is happening and stop my passive acceptance of what has been going on right beneath our eyes.

Oh child, you with your hair looped

down your back, your dress like my ancestor’s,

your eyes blank and polite

you are being prepared, cut to a pattern

like eyelet cropped to fit apron,

your joy stitched to the length of your hem

from the ground you will pace like a calfless cow

Oh child, dreams cut sharp around your ears,

hopes snapped in your western shirt,

groomed like a farmer, a cattleman,

a keeper of fences and women

How I ache for you to know freedom

from those things I can only guess at

What I do know, children, is your programming,

your guilt, the oppressed spirit

that leaves you little personal passion,

few moments of joy like Sunday’s feet

swinging beneath the pew, because they can

What I do wish is for justice for this cropping,

this pinched petal childhood to be nurtured

so you know flowers are not here to compete

but to enhance your uniqueness

Children, you are not common at all,

nor plain, nor simple and we have been silent

and slow in rescuing you from a maelstrom

that would sweep your beauty beneath the feet of Elders

Come, come, know what real love is,

what parenting can do to encourage you to fly

your own dear and deep path you can carve in an endless sky

where anything is possible, even to you

who were almost grounded already

Come, I am not your enemy.  I am the child

who thought heretical thoughts in Church

about not feeling guilty for being born,

who wants you to dance until your hair leaps free,

until your stones in your pockets fall out

and the ground sings at your unfolding

I can no longer turn a blind eye to your predicament.

Tags: Journal Blog //