When Amir is twenty-one (Hosseini helps us keep track of time, because often, in Amir’s view, it just trudges on without counting), Baba is running a booth at a Flea Market and on Saturdays Amir and Baba go to Flea Markets to search for things they can sell in San Jose.
There are neo-Afghani additions to culture, for example, “There was an unspoken code of behavior among Afghans at the flea market: You greeted the guy across the aisle from you…invited him for a bite of food…offered condolences and congratulations, shook heads over Afghanistan…avoided talking about the garage sales because ‘you’d nearly blindsided’ him to get to the garage sale first… tea and gossiped.” (p145 - 146)
Amir comes upon Baba talking to an old friend from Afghanistan, General Taheri, and the men give each other great compliments. Both men seemed weighed down by life: Taheri gives “a sad and polite smile, heaved a sigh and gently patted Baba’s shoulder…”Life goes on.” (p147)
Amir meets Taheri’s daughter and just the way he describes her, you know she is the One!. (p148) He and Baba speak of her, later, and we find out that there was a ‘story’ that had gone around about her. There had been a man once…things didn’t go well…she is decent and hardworking…had no suitors…” The reader knows she is a tarnished Afghani girl. (p149)
Baba says something very telling, important, and the reader gets it, even if Amir does not: “It may be unfair, but what happens in a few days, even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime, Amir.” (p150) The reader knows, oh, doesn’t the reader know, not just about the characters in the book, but in their own life. We can all reach back and know that few days, that single day. The plot twists and there are further and deeper revelations. The reader dare not pay attention to every word. The writing is not difficult, even with the language insertions for Afghani terms, and the story becomes dearer and more personal to the reader in such instances as these few pages. Some of the reader’s angst against Amir has been forgiven, I feel. It is a story about love, betrayals, friendship, and, we hope…redemption. We want redemption for Amir for then, perhaps there is a chance for us, too.
We had a discussion last evening, in our group, about what Eckhart would say about redemption/atonement. Do we even need to atone for things of the past? I know that I believe we do.
If that person we feel we transgressed against is still alive, it needs be done: For us, not for them, necessarily. I know that Christian ethics says we must go to that person and make it right. But, perhaps that person does not want it right and it might only get worse. There are schools of thought that say that we should express sorry to the person we feel we have offended, or that feels we have offended them, and just let the ball rest in their hands as to whether they forgive us or not. There are just some things we can not fix with others, and so it behooves us to do it through a mediator of sorts; Creator, a gift out into the world, a sweat … any way we can forgive ourselves for it, other than denial and righteous indignation. We have to let it go whether they do or not. Yes, approach that person if they are approachable. Write a letter, send a gift and a note, and meet face to face. But in the end, it does not matter as much if they say they forgive you. You cannot change what has happened. The only thing you can change is that you right it however you can.
If the person is dead that we have to atone to, still, we must atone. How do we do this and yet stay in the NOW? When a memory comes, that we feel we need atonement for, I feel we should immediately, in that moment, atone for it in however way we can. I choose to honor that person, do something for the world, forgive ourselves, and then let it go. How life would have been better if I had not collected things I needed to atone for. We have choices. I have made the awakened choice to pay attention to when I feel regret, guilt, shame, and honor that sense of soulful chastisement. Light a candle, say a prayer, whisper to a butterfly, do something that is the opposite choice than the one we made, for someone else. It matters not a whit to the one we feel we transgressed anymore. But, it matters to us. We need to do something for ourselves so we can let it go. Atonement is not for the other person; the one we feel sorrow for transgressing against.
What about those times we have insulted or hurt others and not even realized what we have done, or that we have done so? Are we responsible for those things, as well? Do they come back to haunt us? I think not… if we have hurt someone unbeknownst to us, it is their burden to come and speak to us, or forgive us in their own way so they do not have to carry it. Forgiveness has to be in the moment of knowing. If we do not know, how can we correct that ‘Something’? Even if we do try to correct it, it is up to that person to forgive … or not.
Then there is the aspect of grudges and resentments that we carry for those who we feel have transgressed against us. If we want a Creator who forgives us, then must we not forgive too? Imagine if Creator carried resentments like beady little peas under his mattress? And, that he carried them eternally? I dump my stuff as fast as I can. I have need of atonement and forgiveness…perhaps every day, for something or other. It is said, even our thoughts send out ripples. Man, if Creator holds things, then he is carrying a great deal against me…his burdens must be very great. But, since I d not believe he does, could not, would not, then I should not either. If I have faith in redemption and atonement; if I truly believe this, then I must find ways…soulful ways…to come to a sense of having made things as right as I can, in the moment that the memory of feeling comes. I have to de-clutter my life, so I can live in the now and feel, right to my core, that I am forgiven my humanness and I have forgiven others theirs.
The aspect of sin, as is discussed in the book, The Kite Runner, tells us that the main sin is “Theft”… that every Commandment has to do with theft. “Thou shalt nots”…. But what if thou hast? Make it right in the moment, however you can, because it is within that forgiveness resides. Offer it up to Creator, for there, I have faith, it will be taken care of.
**The painting I have used is done by Lucy Fern, of Fond du Lac, my Teaching Assistant, my sister. She is an incredible artist and her paintings she has given me as gifts are spiritually and soulfully driven. Each one speaks to me about something between me and my Creator. This one is called, “Honor The Sacred Child.” In this instance, it means to honor those things we may have done and feel need atonement, and offer it up to Creator to solve.
Tags: Good Reading, Journal Blog by Shewolf
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